I think we are all guilty at some point of not giving because we don’t have enough. Not enough time. Not enough money. Not enough energy.

I have been guilty of this myself. But what I find is that I never regret giving. I always regret having not given.

I’ve blogged before about the need to make giving easy, like carrying gift cards in your wallet.

But, what I also learned from an article I read recently is the importance of not worrying about the size of the gift. Think instead about just giving.

The story I read, “Love Your Neighbor: An Inspiring Story of Two Friends,” by Frank Fredericks, was published in the Huffington Post.

The author is a Christian who was living outside of Portland Oregon and moved to New York City. He notes that when he lived in Oregon, he would “have to walk a mile in any direction to find someone I didn’t know.” But, in New York City, Frank says, “My city, my neighborhood and block are filled with people who don’t know me, don’t care to know me, don’t look like me, talk like me, smell like me, think like me, and have no desire to change that fact.” He adds that he literally does not know his neighbors. “It’s pretty hard to love people you don’t even know. And sometimes, we all, myself included, use that as an excuse to not even try.”

Frank goes on to tell the story of Brendan, a rising DJ in New York, who was coming home to his Brooklyn apartment when a homeless woman asked him for money. He told her, honestly, that he had no money. By the end of the week, this same woman had asked him twice more for money, and each time he told her “no.” She told him that he really better not have money because each time that was what he told her. The conversation was awkward, so Brendan told her that he was on his way to a job interview, and if he got the job, he would take her for Chinese food.

Frank pauses here and says, “This promise yielded a friendship that neither were prepared for—that changed the trajectory of their lives, both forward toward each other.”

Brendon got the job. And he was good to his word. They went out for Chinese food. Frank states, “They built a friendship of mutual support, spending their birthdays, holidays, and tough times together, over a period of eight years. When Brendan’s heater broke, she made him a blanket. Two days later, when he told her he lost his job, she brought him groceries, and continued to do so throughout the winter. Even with so little, she never hesitated to give back.”

Jackie, the homeless woman, over this eight year period “moved from the streets and subway stations, into a halfway house, YMCA, and is now moving into an apartment.” Brendan wanted to celebrate this moment with Jackie. So, he went to a store and helped her pick out what she needed for the apartment, and then started a registry for her. He put together a video describing their friendship and this woman’s needs. He set up a campaign to raise money, hoping to raise $500. He raised $6,000.

Frank ends by saying that Brendan’s story reminds him of the challenge we each face to step out of our comfort zones and to find new ways to honor, serve, and love the people around us.

Eric Metaxas, in a 2017 article for The Christian Post, notes that “over two decades ago, Robert Putnam’s ground-breaking book, ‘Bowling Alone,’ warned us of the alarming trend of Americans becoming isolated from one another, and how time-honored social institutions in our communities like the PTA have been devastated.

Metaxas notes that Chuck Colson said this trend was “in part a result of our relentless pursuit of what political scientist Michael Sandel calls ‘the unencumbered self.’ Mind you, this was before we all retreated to our cell phones and computer screens.”

Metaxas reports that according to the General Social Survey, only about 20% of Americans spend time regularly with their neighbors, while a third say they have never interacted with them. Just four decades ago, however, one-third of Americans hung out with neighbors at least two times a week, and only a fourth reported no interaction.

Metaxas poses the question, “How do we Christians overcome this growing cultural tide of isolation and obey our calling to be witnesses to Jesus Christ?” He goes on to support one creative solution.

He points to an article written by Ed Stetzer, for Christianity Today. “Ed tells how he moved from Nashville to Wheaton, Illinois—often called the ‘evangelical mecca’—and received a four-page letter from some longtime residents who lived across the street.”

”The letter, titled, ‘In Our Humble Opinion,’ starts off by saying, ‘I know you are going to find it to be a wonderful community to live in BUT it can be a little daunting at first. I moved into the brick house across the street from you when I was 12. Now we have lived in the cream house next door to that house for 23 years. I guess we like it here…’”

The neighbor proceeded to share tips for living in Wheaton, including the best places for pizza, the best chocolate, the best popcorn (“a covered alley between two stores on Front Street”), the best movie theater, the best grocery store, and best donuts. The neighbor then closed the list, “tongue in cheek, with the ‘best church’ and tells Ed and his family that they are most welcome.. Ed consulted the list regularly.”

Ed said that the list made his family know that someone was glad they were here, took time to welcome them and care, and invited them to church.”

Metaxas concludes that we don’t each need to type a four-page letter to our neighbors to establish a friendship and invite them to church. “But the point is, we need to actually be a neighbor, to step away from our natural tendencies to isolate ourselves or just hang out with people we know, and maybe extend a hand of help and friendship to those around us.”

My husband recently experienced this first hand. He has an old Riviera he cherishes, and one sunny but cold day he took it out for a drive. The gas tank has a leak, and so it will only hold a certain amount of gas… and the gas gauge is not accurate. You guessed it. He ran out of gas on the exit ramp into town.

He told me that on this frigid day, he left the car and proceeded to walk to town, when a nice woman pulled over, put on her face mask, and offered to take him to the house to get his gas can, to the gas station for gas, and back to his car. She didn’t have to do this. She could have driven off. But, she didn’t. And, we are thankful.

How can we each be better neighbors? What small gestures on our part can make our neighbors realize that someone really cares about them?

I will leave you with another example. Recently, my hair dresser called the local nursing home. She imagined that the nursing home residents, who were confined there due to the pandemic, would love to see children playing. She asked director if she and her boys could build a snowman in front of the nursing home so that the residents could enjoy watching the boys have fun…and so that the snowman could bring them happiness after they left. The photos were posted on Facebook, so we all got to join in on the fun.

What a kind gesture! What good neighbors!

What a wonderful invitation to stop, think, and act!