I have been a minister’s wife for decades. For the many years I have helped my husband pastor churches, there has always been a push to bring young families into the church.

Some of this push is Biblical—it is part of the Great Commission. We are told to spread the Word. Jesus tells us to bring the young children to Him. We know that children who are educated in the faith early on have a greater chance of staying with the faith as adults. We know that we must educated the next generation in the faith as a way to ensure that the faith continues.

Some of the push for young families is the liveliness they bring! There aren’t many young families attending church, and a church feels more alive when young people are part of the service. They enrich the church just with their presence!

Some of the push is pragmatic. Young families attract young families—and they are the future of the church. If a church consists only of older members, its future is bleak.

So, it makes sense that churches want to recruit young members, young families, and children.

It used to be that older members, once established in the church, did not leave. Often, those older members had been the younger members many years back, and their friends and family were part of the church, so they had deep ties in the particular congregation.

No longer is that the case.

Children move away. Friends move away. Older adults are much more mobile than they once were. They move away from communities in which they were once established.

Since the pandemic, three of my friends have left churches they had been members of for many years, all for different reasons.

So, I was disheartened but not terribly surprised when I read an article in the March 2022 edition of Christianity Today by Adam Macinnis entitled, “The Church is Losing Its Gray Heads: Why Are Boomers and Gen X Dropping Out of Church at Higher Rates than Young Christians?”

The article cites research from the Barna (Research) Group. According to Barna, some of the biggest declines in church attendance over the past three decades have been among adults 55 and older. Barna found that over the past thirty years, church attendance reached a high in 2009 at 48 percent, then plummeted to 29 percent in 2020. This is partly because an increasing number of Americans have never attended church as adults. But, that is not the whole story.

“People took it for granted,” said Ryan Burge, a pastor and researcher, that “the Golden Girls are not leaving. They’re going to be here no matter what.”

However, according to the article, Burge found that in the past few years, adults ages 55 to 64 report significantly reduced church attendance—down a full 10 percentage points. And, according to Burge’s research, “When people stop attending church these days, their pastors can’t expect them to return.”

The article also cites a Pew Research Center survey from December of 2017. According to this survey, just under half of Christians over age 40 who stop attending church feel they are still practicing their faith. This is true for only 25% of those age 18-29 who don’t go to church.

Less than a third of those over the age of 65 stopped because of a dislike for the Church. Instead, they selected statements such as, “I haven’t found a church I like,” “I don’t like the sermons,” or “I don’t feel welcome.”

Burge notes that people rarely quit church for dramatic reasons such as scandal or abuse. “The reality is that most people leave for very practical reasons” such as moving or inconvenience. Out of convenience, they might listen to church sermons online.” According to the article, “Such activities might be why many older church dropouts believe they are still practicing their faith, still learning, still worshipping.”

But, as the article points out, the Bible itself instructs believers to meet and worship together. This is part of the Christian walk—to encourage and support each other. As the article’s author states, “People do not stop needing church once they become mature believers.”

So, what should the church do to maintain or attract back those who have left?

As one who left a church and only recently joined another, and having several friends who have done the same, I offer the following:

1.      Give all church members a sense of belonging to the whole

2.      Value all church members for their unique gifts and call upon those gifts for the betterment of the church as a whole and the community it serves

3.      Preach the Hope and Good News of the Gospel

4.      Pray as a congregation that the Holy Spirit will bring those in need—whatever their needs—to the church

5.      Support missionaries and focus the church on its broader ministry to the world

6.      Pray regularly and often that the Holy Spirit will bring revival to the nations and will restore peace and justice in our land.

Scott McConnell, Executive Director of Lifeway Research, believes that church leadership and members should reach out to those who haven’t been at church in a while to see what they are struggling with and to let them know they are valued.

“Every generation matters to God and should matter to the church.”