Do you know a gentle person?

It seems in today’s world, the trait of gentleness is becoming harder to find and more difficult to cultivate.

The person I know who is gentle is now over 100 years old—but I knew her when she was in her 70s—and my husband knew her when she was in her 50s—and for this entire period of time the term “gentle” describes her perfectly.

Other terms that come to mind are gracious, hospitable, and kind.

We all know gentleness when we see it – but my, it is hard to define!

The Century Dictionary defines “gentleness” as “Softness, freedom from roughness, mildness, delicacy, as in ‘gentleness of touch’.”

These are traits Western Culture generally does not revere. Yet, people who have the spirit of gentleness seem to be like flowers to bees in terms of collecting people around them. If the gentleness is sincere, it is a magnet.

Eddie Foster, in an article Fruit of the Spirit: Gentleness for lifehopeandtruth.com really nails the definition of gentleness. He references the lament of Jesus in Matthew 23:37 in which He says, “How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wing, but you were not willing.” Mr. Foster says, “Gentleness is feeling this way about other human beings.” It is a spirit of love and deep caring, even for those who don’t seem to warrant it. He goes on to say, “It is the humble and meek attitude of wanting to help other people instead of wanting to be superior to them. This attitude flows from a spirit of real love for the individual—having true, outgoing concern for their wellbeing.”

The Bible has a great deal to say about gentleness. Here are just a few of the passages that promote this attribute:

To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentler and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. Titus 3:2 ESV

But in your hearts, honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect. 1 Peter 3:15 ESV

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Galatians 6:1 ESV

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:29 ESV

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things, there is no law. Galatians 6:1 ESV

There are many more references in the Bible to gentleness. And, as much as I have read about the fruits of the Spirit, I continue to forget that gentleness is one of those fruits.

Fruits of the spirit are available to all believers. But, just as you have to cultivate and care for fruit trees to have good fruit, you must cultivate the fruits of the Spirit, including gentleness.

How do we do this?

First, we have to see gentleness for what it is. Gentleness, true gentleness, is a demonstration of great strength.

Second, gentleness mandates that we pause, and decide how to react. It is a thoughtful approach. It is a demonstration of concern, not anger.

Third, it carries with it the tone of compassion and love. It is speaking to the soul behind the actions—not to the actions themselves.

Fourth, it takes time to cultivate. It is counter to most of our natures. It is a demonstration to the world of the Holy Spirit who resides in each believer. In gentleness, we show God—not ourself.

As Nylse Esahc notes in “What is the Fruit of the Spirit and How do I Grow it?” for ibelieve.com, “Growing the fruit of the Spirit is like growing a muscle. The muscle is already a part of us, but we have to choose to use it if we want to see any growth. We have to exercise faith and believe that we have everything we need for growth. Our growth will make us more compassionate, more empathetic, kinder, more joyful, more peaceful, and gentler, with the common strand of love…Growing the fruit of the Spirit relies on the Holy Spirit producing His fruit in us, with the Holy Spirit’s power making changes in our lives day by day.”

See the strength of gentleness. Cultivate it in your life. Pause and decide how to react. Speak with compassion and love.

Experience the power of gentleness!