I read a study this week that was completed by Cigna Insurance—back in January—before the pandemic heated up in America.
Even back then, when life still seemed “normal,” more than 60% of Americans reported feeling “lonely, left out, poorly understood, and lacking companionship.” Sixty percent! This is more than three in five Americans. My guess is that most of the industrialized countries see similar numbers. In America, that is an increase of 13% in loneliness in just two years.
The report notes that loneliness has widespread effects on a person’s mental and physical health. No surprise, right? Studies show that there is a link between loneliness and anxiety, depression, coronary heart disease and stroke.
Sadly, adults age 18-22, “Generation Z,” is the loneliest generation and claims to be in worse health than older generations. The Cigna study in 2020 found that men were more lonely than women (63% versus 58%).
Interestingly, 73% of “heavy” social media users felt lonely compared with 52% of light users. And there might be a clue in this. Perhaps loneliness, to a certain extend, feeds itself through social isolation. A person becomes trapped in feeling lonely and turns to familiar social comforts—the internet, television, books. While all good in their own ways, they will not help break the loneliness trap.
So, what can we do to break free of loneliness, especially in a pandemic?
Here are a few suggestions:
Schedule time with people even during a pandemic - schedule walks, dinners outdoors socially distancing, visits in the park. Think creatively! We have dinner with friends at least once each month, outdoors—we sit at a table on their driveway and they sit on their porch. We bring out dinner, and one of us prepares a shared dessert. It is the conversation and “seeing” each other that makes the difference—not how fancy the dinner or how close we sit!
Meet through Zoom - although this involves a computer, it involves real people talking to each other about real things. My husband hosts a Bible Study each week on Zoom. We have people from several states who join and the discussion is always lively. Great fellowship! (email me if you are interested!)
Talk to people! - studies show that even casual discussions with a cashier or waitress help break through feelings of loneliness. Those snippets of socializing help!
Join an organization/ volunteer - even in these strange pandemic days, there are opportunities to volunteer! I serve on a local humane society board and so enjoy the discussions we have and work we do—even though we can’t sit in the room together right now. I love to hear the stories of animals that get well, that find new homes, that come into our shelter out of deplorable situations. Heartwarming! And, to serve with like-minded individuals is a pleasure!
So, even if you are an introvert like me, you can connect and get out of the loneliness trap! Ask someone to take a walk with you. Don’t fear rejection! If someone doesn’t want your company, move on. I promise, there are friends out there hoping someone (you!) will contact them. Push yourself to move outside of your comfort zone. You’ll be so glad you did!